When Your Vacation is a Battle, not a Break

Finally! A whole week off! A whole week to do what I want, or to do nothing at all!

It sounds great, but for someone with a chronic headache disorder (not to mention other diseases and syndromes), things may not work out the way you hoped.

Daily pain may make the break seem more like a battle.

And how in the world do you answer questions like,“Did you enjoy your time off?” or “Feeling refreshed? Ready to get back to work?”

No, actually, I don’t feel refreshed at all. I feel like I just returned from a week in the trenches.

Here are a few tips to help you survive after a holiday or vacation that really wasn’t.

First, a couple of notes regarding the time off itself.

Here are three things to do during time off which will help you survive and keep going once it’s over:

1. Keep life as stable as possible. That means keep a regular schedule, regular bed times and wake-up times, regular meal times, etc. Drastic changes tend to make things worse. This isn’t possible all the time, but the next tip will help with that.
2. Get the rest you need. Whatever works for you. Don’t over-schedule or plan late nights every night. If you know the big party is coming up, plan to get extra rest before and after.
3. Make memories. This is a little counter-intuitive, but it really can work. Do fun things with the family, and take pictures. Even if you’re in pain, the good memories can last longer than the memory of the pain. Obviously, if the pain is severe you just need to get away and deal with it however you can. But if it’s possible to do something, even something small at home, with people you trust and love, do it. Make memories.

All right, now your break/battle is over. How do you survive the days ahead? Here are some ideas – leave your own ideas in the comments.

• Remember, you are responsible for your own attitude and response. If you decide that you’re a victim and there’s no hope, you’ll become inward focused and you’ll be more miserable than ever. Trying to make your life better is not denying that you have a serious health problem.
• Forget the pain, bring on the memories. Easier said than done, of course. Even if you forget the pain, it’s harder to forget what you missed due to the pain. However, focusing on the good, looking at a few pictures, writing a few notes of thanks … these things can go a long way toward “redeeming” a “tough break”.
• Ease back into your regular schedule. It can be motivating to have a fresh start, make ambitious goals, and tell yourself that “this year will be better”. But that doesn’t mean you should work for 18 hours on day 1. Be hopeful, but start slow and be forgiving of yourself if you can’t do it all in the first week.
• Immediately plan your next (short) break. You may be thinking, why would I want to put myself through that disappointment again? Then again, after a week of your normal schedule you may be wishing for something else. Don’t plan a two week hiking and canoeing trip. Plan two days off in February with someone you love. Or a weekend away in March. Something small, simple, and easy on your body, that you can look forward to. Just because your recent time off was difficult doesn’t mean that the next one will be as bad.
• Redefine “break”. While we’re talking about future breaks, it’s time to get creative. A break/holiday/vacation/sabbatical/whatever can be a thousand different things. A couple days at the beach. Taking a day off to visit that friend you haven’t seen in ages. How about a couple days just to read? Or three days at the hotel with your spouse to finish your wills, plan for the year ahead, and – well, do something fun! If you’re stuck thinking about a break as being one thing, get creative. Have a change instead of a rest. Physical, mental, emotional, spiritual – we need many different kinds of breaks.
• Forgive. After your “break”, you might just need to forgive. Forgive that family member for not understanding. Forgive yourself for pushing too hard. Maybe you actually need to talk to someone, and ask forgiveness, or explain how they hurt you. Don’t bring grudges from your time off into the rest of your life.
• Be honest, but… If someone asks how your time off was, be honest! You don’t need to be bitter, just explain in a few words. But – was there anything good about it? Take a few more words to talk about that. How can you express both of these things in 30 seconds to a co-worker or friend? Well, it was difficult, I was in a lot of pain. But I was thankful to spend some time with my Mother…

A few of us understand just how difficult a “break” can be. But on a Monday morning, if we can take just a little control, and demonstrate a little gratitude for something, we might be able to fight back just a bit.