How to introduce a migraine
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So you feel a migraine attack coming on. How do you explain it to someone who doesn’t understand? Are you tired of saying,"Uh oh, I’m getting a migraine"?
Let’s get a little more creative, shall we? Here are some suggestions to vary your approach, and break out of the rut…
Standards
- ~I’m about to feel a lot sicker than I look!
- ~Oooo … can I take a 24 hour vacation from my body?
- ~I’m having a migraine attack. It makes me want to tear my hair out. And I think I’m getting a headache too!
- ~How am I? I’m doing great emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. Physically, I’m a wreck.
- ~I think I’ll swing by my bedroom for a few hours of uninterrupted agony…
- ~I have one of the world’s most painful and disorienting diseases, and I’m having an attack.
- ~I wish it were only a bad headache.
- ~It’s not so bad. Some problems with my vision, a little throwing up, unbelievable pain, [add your symptoms here]. That’s all…
- ~Is there any place near here where I can get a head amputation?
- ~Wanna hang around? You can watch me throw up and writhe on the floor in agony!
- ~I like to live a balanced life. I think I’ll light the left side of my head on fire so it feels like the right side.
- ~Uh oh … hey, do you want to trade bodies for a few hours?
If you want to sound intellectual
- ~I think my cortical depression is spreading!
- ~My genetic predisposition is about to let my brain stem get away with MURDER!
A poetic touch
- ~When the head aches, all the members partake of the pains (Miguel de Cervantes in Don Quixote)
- ~What a head have I! It beats as if it would fall in twenty pieces! (William Shakespeare in Romeo and Juliet)
- ~My heart is severely pained within me, and the terrors of death have fallen upon me. Fearfulness and trembling have come upon me, and horror has overwhelmed me. So I said,"Oh, that I had wings like a dove! I would fly away and be at rest". (King David from Psalm 55:4-6)
- ~Headache roams over the desert, blowing like the wind. Flashing like lightening, it is loosed above and below! (Mesopotamian poem, 4000BC)
- ~If I am wicked, woe to me; even if I am righteous, I cannot lift up my head. I am full of disgrace; see my misery! (Job from Job 10:15)
For the history buff
- ~If only I had some elder seed juice, cow’s brain, and goat’s dung dissolved in vinegar! (a medieval migraine remedy)
- ~Know what Mary Queen of Scots, Rudyard Kipling, Thomas Jefferson, John Calvin, Charles Darwin and I have in common?
Current events
- ~The World Health Organization says I have one of the world’s top 20 disabilities. Guess which one!
- ~Hurrah! Today I’m going to join about 20 million other people having a migraine attack!
Do you have any great one or two sentence ways to explain your migraine attack? It’s your turn – leave a comment! (Be kind – keep it clean!)
5 August 2008 @ 6:18 am
very funny, I am not a headache sufferer but I think the reference to cow’s brain might stir up some symptathy.
One more for the history buff:
Prehistoric man used trepanning to relieve headaches. Does anyone have a sharp stone and a steady hand?
5 August 2008 @ 3:55 pm
I love it! Wisdom of the ancients. 😉
9 August 2008 @ 1:53 pm
I love the “I have one of the world’s most painful and disorienting diseases, and I’m having an attack.” I bet that wouldn’t bring on the well-intentioned comebacks of “take an aspirin”, etc!
9 August 2008 @ 7:08 pm
I agree, Teejay – maybe we should do another post on “most annoying responses to the statement: ‘I’m having a migraine attack'”!
11 August 2008 @ 6:48 pm
That was an awesome post.
Dealing With Headaches » Blog Archive » August Headache Blog Carnival Now Up
11 August 2008 @ 7:30 pm
[…] get the party started with How to Introduce a Migraine by James over at Headache and Migraine News Blog. Because, of course, it’s all about the […]
13 August 2008 @ 4:18 pm
These are fabulous! I add the Monty Python approach – “My Brain HURTS!” said in deep gumby voice and the just plain goofy approach – “Uh-oh, my head essplode!”
18 August 2008 @ 11:17 pm
These are awesome – I think the cow’s dung one is my favorite!
Be well,
MJ
23 August 2008 @ 6:50 pm
I love it! These are so funny! I especially like “…and I’m getting a headache!”
I have had severe migraines for four years and almost daily migraines for the past year.
I am fortunate in that I no longer have much contact with people who don’t understand, because I had to stop working and go on disability leave. My husband now totally gets it, my psychiatrist gets it (she turns down the lights for me!), my mom gets it (and migraines too, which she calls sinus headaches). But the real miracle is, my mother-in-law gets it!!!! Whoo-hoo!!!
But I’m bookmarking your page in case I ever need a snappy migraine introduction.
Keep up the fabulous work, dude!!
18 February 2009 @ 8:28 am
Thanks for your comments – I hadn’t read this one for a while, so it was refreshing to read it again… maybe I can try one of these lines today! 😉
29 October 2012 @ 8:18 pm
I feel like my head is about to give birth.
29 October 2012 @ 10:04 pm
During my last migraine attack, the only parts of my body not suffering were the trimmed hair and fingernails I left at the beauty parlor the day before.
30 May 2013 @ 6:11 pm
I have MAV now with my migraines, but prior to this development when getting aural and visual auras I’d say “I’m just having a mini rave going on in my head”.