1% Thursday: Move on
Recently I missed – yes, missed a 1% Thursday post. I’m sorry, but these things happen.
It got me thinking. Those of us with chronic illness miss many things. Sure, we try to fight the symptoms, "make do", simplify, plan ahead, make alternate plans, but no matter what there are times when things are simply missed.
We can acknowledge that it’s disappointing. We can use it as motivation to find other solutions. Maybe it’s partly our fault, and we do need to apologize or make restitution.
But there comes a time when we just need to let it go.
And it starts with a personal attitude. You know what, I did my best. Or maybe I didn’t. But it’s past now. And that means I need to move on.
And after the personal attitude, there comes a time to be apologetic to others. Yes, I missed this deadline/event/whatever. I was sick. Don’t tell me what could have happened, or how terrible the results are. Just tell me where to go from here.
It’s going to be a lot harder to "go from here" if I first take the time to load up with all kinds of heavy baggage – the could-have-beens, the I-should-haves, the punish-myself-sufficientlys, the look-who-I’ve-let-down-nows, and of course the poor-mes. That stuff gets heavy after a while!
No, there comes a time to drop all the luggage and just go to the next step.
This week, when you miss something, or can’t do something, or don’t live up to someone’s standards (including your own), here’s a suggestion. Sure, do the fixing and apologizing if it’s needed. See if there’s anything that can be done better. But then move on, and don’t let anyone try to load all that baggage back on you.
What is 1% Thursday?
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Every Thursday at Headache and Migraine News (weather permitting) we’ll talk about one measurable, practical thing we can do to make our lives just 1% better. Usually it will be something very easy, sometimes it will be a challenge. Let us know if you try it, or share an idea of your own – and maybe a year from now we’ll see that things have really changed for the better!
13 August 2010 @ 3:07 am
I really like this post. I’ve been doing it a lot recently, and helping others do it as well, even if they don’t have chronic issues. More people need to be helpful and future-thinking instead of increasing baggage and being loaded down in the past. Its called learn or change and keep moving.
I’ve realized that I am not the person I was but I deal and live in the capacities that I can now. It is almost a challenge that has forced me to be more myself, actually. I only take the time to do what I need to or want to because there is not enough energy to waste on things that are not important to me. Also, I tend to not survive situations where I am not thoroughly intrigued or enjoying myself because I am not sufficiently distracted from my constant head pain. It has definitely shoved me into getting more of what I want out of life.
19 August 2010 @ 4:58 pm
I really like this post, too. I have a very difficult time with letting these things go. I haven’t completely come to terms and accepted all of the changes and limitations that these chronic, debilitating migraines have brought. I feel a lot of sadness and guilt. I will try to work on letting things go and not placing so much pressure on myself.